A Teeny Bit of Trouble by Michael Lee West & Bacon and Cheese Quiche

“It’s not every day that I bake a dozen red velvet cakes, learn that my boyfriend has a love child, and I witness a murder. To calm down, I invented a whole menu based on the Miranda warning. My favorite is Anything-You-Say-Can-Be-Used-Against-You Quiche. It calls for onions, smoked ham, and pepper cheese. Place ingredients in a deep-dish crust and add heavy whipping cream, salt, and pepper. Bake in a 400-degree oven until the filling is nicely browned. Serve with You-Have-the-Right-to-Remain-Silent Salsa and You-Have-the-Right-to-an-Attorney Pita Dippers.” ~A Teeny Bit of Trouble by Michael Lee West

Bacon and Cheese Quiche


1 refrigerated pie crust, softened as directed on box

1 cup half-and-half or milk

4 eggs, slightly beaten

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

8 slices bacon, crisply cooked, crumbled

1 cup shredded Swiss or Cheddar cheese

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1 tablespoon chopped onion, if desired


  1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Place pie crust in 9-inch glass pie plate.
  2. In a medium bowl, mix half-and-half, eggs, salt and pepper; set aside. Layer bacon, cheeses and onion in crust-lined plate. Pour egg mixture over top.
  3. Bake 40 to 50 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Let stand 5 minutes; cut into wedges.

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